The Past, Try To Let It Go
by Fused
Summary: You can't run forever, eventually everyone must come home and face their past. Chuck/OC, with a bit of Dan/Serena, Nate/Jenny.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or any of the characters!

AN: This follows the plot of the TV show up until Victor, Victrola. Please R&R, xoxo

"I don't understand him." Blair lamented. "I have loved Nate since we were children. How could he throw this all away and for a silly crush on Serena." Blair poured herself another glass of champagne. She had come to The Palace with the intention of getting so drunk that she couldn't think anymore but instead she found herself on a couch with Chuck confessing her feelings.

"I'll never understand how love works." Chuck shrugged and took a sip of his scotch. "It's fucking unfair though, I know that much."

Blair stared at Chuck for a moment, observing him. His jaw was tense and she could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn't just speaking about her and Nate. "Are you thinking about Olivia?"

"Who?" Chuck's eyes were cold again as he glanced over at her.

"Cut the crap Chuck." Blair sat up. "If you miss her, why don't you do something about it."

"It's more complicated than that." Chuck groaned at his inadvertent admission. "And I don't miss her."

"Yeah right." Blair rolled her eyes. "You miss her and everyone in the Upper East Side knows it."

"Shut up Blair and have another drink." Chuck finished his and slammed the glass on the table. "I don't want to talk about her anymore."

"We don't have to talk about her, but, you'll have to deal with this eventually." Blair sipped her champagne. _Sooner than you think_, Blair thought to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

Spotted: **O** is back in town. It seems one of our all time favorite party girls has returned from her exile. She was spotted having lunch with **S** and **B**, who has been notably absent since her split with **N**. We wonder if **O** is here to stay…and what **C** has to say about it.

"Well, that's one thing I haven't missed." Olivia Benedict-Soto laughed lightly and tossed her Blackberry onto her bed where Serena and Blair were stretched out.

"Oh come on," Blair rolled her eyes. "You mean to tell me that you didn't miss your celebrity status even a little bit while you were in the backwoods of New Hampshire?"

"It wasn't as bad as you think it was." Olivia insisted with a smile. "And honestly, I think having some time away was good for me. I was getting too caught up in things here and now I'm able to focus on my work and of course, my dancing."

"You mean, you were getting too caught up with Chuck?" Serena pressed. Blair gave her a warning look.

Olivia sighed and sat down at her dressing table. On it, there was a framed picture of her, Blair, Serena, Nate, and Chuck all on the Bass' yacht only one year ago. "Yes and no."

"You're always so cryptic." Serena made a face. "What exactly happened between you two?"

"It wasn't Chuck. I loved him completely." Olivia turned around to face her friends again. "It was our parents."

-flashback-

"What do you mean you're leaving?" Chuck stared at his girlfriend in disbelief. She'd just shown up at his suite in The Palace, with tears in her eyes and announced that she would be leaving for boarding school in less than 48 hours.

"I can't explain." Olivia shook her head, her long curls bouncing with the force of her movement. "I just wanted to say good-bye."

"Good-bye?" Chuck reached for her but Olivia took a step backward. "Baby, what's going on? Was it something I did? I'm sorry, whatever it was, I'll fix it."

"I have to go." Olivia wiped her eyes. "I'll always love you, Chuck."

"Then why are you leaving me?" He asked in confusion.

Olivia stepped toward him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Don't forget me, okay?"

"Olivia- don't walk out that door." Chuck grabbed her hand and tried to stop her. "I'm begging you, don't walk out that door."

"Bye Chuck." Olivia pulled away and left out the same door she came in only moments before.

-

end flashback-

"Then why did you go?" Serena asked again. "You had a choice didn't you?"

"I had a choice." Olivia nodded. "Bart Bass and my father gave me a choice; either stay here and stop seeing Chuck or go to boarding school and stop seeing Chuck. If I couldn't be with him, then I couldn't be in New York, it was just too painful."

"I don't understand." Serena shook her head. "Why would they do that?"

Olivia shrugged and tried to seem indifferent but the tears coming down her face spoke of something different. Blair stood up and walked over to Olivia. "It's okay Livy, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"It's not that I don't want to." Olivia wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. "I just don't know where to begin, I mean, I haven't even really talked about it with my brother or sister."

"Well, when you're ready, we're here for you." Serena said encouragingly.


	3. Chapter 3

Once outside of Olivia's apartment, Blair and Serena hailed a cab.

"What's your plan Serena?" Blair asked suspiciously. "Why did you insist that Olivia come home now?"

"Blair let's be honest here, there are no neutral people left in the Upper East Side. All of our friends have been implicated in the drama. Liv is the closest thing to neutral that we have." Serena said simply. She slid easily into the back seat of the cab and waited for Blair to file in after her. "She'll talk some sense into Nate, they've always been close in a way that neither of us are with him."

"Right, I understand that part." Blair nodded. "But you didn't seriously have her fly back here just so she could talk to Nate, did you? She could have called him."

"It's better in person." Serena smirked. "Plus, Chuck has the opening of Victrola next weekend."

"S, are you sure this is such a good idea?" Blair arched one of her perfect eyebrows. "Chuck is going to be drunk and groping any girl in his sights. That's hardly the proper setting for a romantic reunion."

"Have a little faith B, I've got this all under control. Besides, you need to stay focused on Nate right now." Serena advised. "Once Olivia talks to him, things will be all set."

"I wish I had your shining sense of optimism."

-

"Miss Olivia," The Benedict-Soto's housekeeper, Carla, appeared at Olivia's bedroom with a cordless phone in her hand. "It's your father on the phone."

"Does he sound mad?" Olivia whispered. She got up from her desk and nervously approached the older woman. Olivia had booked her flight back to the city, the moment Serena had called her, sounding close to tears, begging her to come home and help fix all the drama. She hadn't even asked her father if it would be okay and had only told her mom about the trip when she was already back in New York. Carla gave her a small nod and Olivia groaned. "Thanks Carla." She took the phone and walked over to her bed and sat down again. She counted to five and then answered.

"Hi Daddy." Olivia tried to sound cheery.

"What are you doing in New York, Olivia? Did I give you permission to leave school and come home?" Juan Soto asked his daughter gruffly.

"Daddy, I talked to Mommy about it." Olivia told him semi-honestly. "I'm just back for my fall break, okay? Just a week and I have lots to do in the city. I'm going to audition for Maurice's new dance company, you know the one that I wanted to work with this summer? And I'm sure you heard about everything that's happening with Nate's family, I thought this would be a good time to see him and show him my support."

"Olivia, we've talked about this before, I sign the checks and front your bills and I don't like being kept in the dark about what you're doing. I have a meeting in ten minutes but I want you to know that our agreement still stands. Don't get too comfortable, you have one week and then you're right back on a plane to New Hampshire."

"I know Daddy. One week." Olivia sighed. This one week in the city would be the most she had spent there since her father had sent her to boarding school a little more than a year ago.

"And stay away from Charles Bass." Juan said sternly. "Trust me Olivia, I will find out if you so much as get within 1000 feet of The Palace."

"Daddy, I know." Olivia bit her lip to keep from saying something she would regret. "I haven't seen him in over a year and I don't have any plans to either."

"Good. I'll be in touch."

Olivia let out a loud groan and threw the phone onto the bed in frustration. Why couldn't her father just let go of the past?


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello?" Nate mumbled into his phone. It might have been almost two in the afternoon but he was still in his bed.

"Nate, don't tell me you're still sleeping." Olivia laughed at the sound of his voice. "The day is more than half over already."

"Who is this?" Nate groaned and rolled over onto his back. His head was throbbing and he knew he was hung over. He'd spent the last few nights since his father's arrest, smoking pot and drinking beers on the roof of his building.

"God, a girl goes away for a year and suddenly her voice is unrecognizable." Olivia pouted.

"Livy?" Nate sat up. "What the fu-"

"Don't finish that sentence Archibald. Look, I'm back in town, just for a few days, and I'm dying to see you."

"Yeah of course." Nate smiled for the first time in days. "When did you get here?"

"Late last night." Olivia explained. "I spent the morning with Serena and Blair and I just got chewed out by my Dad. I doubt he'll be letting me come back to the city any time soon so I really wanna make the most out of this visit."

"Wow, I can't believe you're here." Nate sighed. "I've really missed you Livy."

"I've missed you too. You're my first friend and boarding school in New Hampshire won't change that." Olivia said earnestly. "I heard about things with your Dad, how are you doing?"

"News travels fast I guess. I'm fine."

"Fine? I doubt it Nate. How about you meet me for dinner at Sea, okay? Around seven-thirty?" Olivia named one of their favorite restuarunts. "Unless it's gone out of style since I've been gone."

"No, that sounds perfect." Nate agreed. "Just one question."

"Yeah?"

"Does he know you're in town?"

Olivia hesitated for a moment. "No, not unless he's been checking gossip girl."

"Livy, you have to tell him." Nate said carefully. "It's only right."

"I can't call him," Olivia started to explain. "My Dad will flip out if he finds out and I seriously doubt that Chuck wants anything to do with me at this point."

"You'd be surprised Liv. Alright, I'll see you at seven-thirty then." Once he hung up the phone, Nate collapsed against his pillows again. As much as he was excited to see his old friend, he wasn't really looking forward to breaking the news of her return to Chuck.


	5. Chapter 5

Spotted: **N** and **O** having a very private dinner in the back of Sea. The two were drinking wine and whispering for hours. **O** was stumbling a bit as they made their exit but the always chivalrous **N **didn't hesitate to put his arms around her and help her out. **B** can't be pleased.

"Is she serious with this shit?" Serena looked at her phone in disgust.

"What are you talking about?" Dan looked up from his books. Serena had come over a few hours ago to work on homework but she had been distracted by her constantly vibrating phone.

"Gossip Girl." Serena showed him the latest update. "Like Olivia and Nate would ever hook up. That's gross, he's practically her brother."

"Wasn't she with Chuck?" Dan hadn't known Olivia, except from a distance but he thought he remembered her and Chuck being together.

"Yeah." Serena put her French book aside and started to explain things to Dan. "See, she and Nate grew up together. Their fathers went to Dartmouth together. Anyway, Nate and Olivia were best friends. She was the one that helped Nate and Blair get together and then sometime in middle school, Olivia and Chuck started dating."

"Right." Dan cocked his head to the side as he tried to process this information. "And you're friends with a girl who willingly dated Chuck Bass? Interesting."

"Chuck wasn't always so…Chuck like." Serena shook her head. "He used to be decent. I mean, he's always been a bit devious, always up to some sort of scheme but he used to be a good friend. I used to spend a lot of time with him actually."

"Doing what?" Dan asked skeptically. He had a hard time picturing the Serena he knew now hanging out with Chuck Bass.

"All kinds of things." Serena shrugged. "We were all a unit until Olivia's Dad made her go to boarding school. That's when Chuck started being an ass and Blair and I stopped hanging out with him. Not to be melodramatic but it was like one day he was a great boyfriend and the next he was the biggest womanizer in New York."

"Well, I can't imagine he'd be pleased to hear that Nate is hanging out with his ex." Dan pointed out.

"Yeah, me either." Serena ran her hands through her long hair. " I thought that I had everything planned out, I guess I didn't really take gossip girl into account."

"What are you talking about?" Dan asked in confusion. "Are you planning something?"

Serena grinned sheepishly at him. "Well, I needed her help getting Nate and Blair back together."

"Is that it?" Dan knew that there had to be more.

"And if she and Chuck reconcile along the way, well, that's an added plus." Serena pounced on Dan, pushing him back against his bed and straddling his waist. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" Dan made a face.

Serena leaned down and started kissing his neck, moving slowly toward his awaiting mouth. "You're looking at me like you don't think I can pull this off."

"Oh, I have no doubt that you're very, very talented Serena." Dan pulled her closer and deepened their kiss. "I'm just having a hard time digesting the concept that Chuck Bass has a heart, I guess."

--

Olivia was exhausted. During her dinner with Nate, she'd let him catch her up on things that had been happening since she was gone. He told her about school, his latest sailing trips, how he didn't really want to go to Dartmouth, and he very noticeably avoided the topic of Blair. It was nice to talk for a while, avoiding all the really serious things. She'd asked Nate about his father but all he did was shrug and say that his parents were still putting on a strong front, pretending that their world wasn't really falling apart.

Olivia showered and wrapped herself in her favorite silk robe. Sitting at her dressing table, she started to comb her curls out. The picture of her friends from the previous summer sat there mocking her.

"Miss Olivia?" Carla knocked on the door to her bedroom.

"Come in."

"I'm going to go home now, are you sure you'll be alright by yourself?" Carla asked with concern. Mr. Soto had asked her to keep track of Olivia but Carla had her own family to go home to.

"I'm fine." Olivia smiled. "I'm going to bed soon anyway."

"Is your mother coming home soon?" Carla asked. She was surprised when Olivia had shown up the night before. She hadn't seen the girl in a long time and neither of her parents had given Carla any indication that Olivia would be returning home which was unusual because Mr. Soto was meticulous with details.

"No," Olivia shook her head. "She's in Italy still."

"Oh." Carla started to close the door but came back into the room. She approached Olivia slowly. "Well, Miss Olivia, I am very glad that you're home. It's been much too quite around here with Trevor and Natalia away at college and without you and your friends running around."

"Thanks Carla." Olivia smiled sadly. "I miss being home more than I can describe."

"Maybe Mr. Soto will let you come home soon… for good." Carla said sympathetically. "You've been doing so well at this new school."

"I doubt it." Olivia admitted. "Daddy made up his mind and I doubt anyone can make him change it."

"We'll see, angelito, we'll see." Carla kissed her forehead. "I'll be back in the morning to make you a good breakfast."

"Thanks Carla, tell Martin and Vickie that I said hi."

Olivia waited until she heard Carla leave and the doors clicking shut behind her before she got up from her dressing table. All she wanted to do was crawl between her silk sheets and sleep well into the morning. When the doorbell rang minutes later, Olivia assumed it was Carla, having forgot her keys.

"Coming." She pulled the robe's belt tighter around her waist and rushed down the stairs and to the door. She was surprised to see Chuck standing in front of her, glaring at her with intensity.

"Where is he?" Chuck demnanded.

"Where is who?" Olivia asked in confusion. Her heart was pounding so intensely that she had to grab onto the wall for added support. Chuck brushed past her and into the entrance of the apartment.

"Where is Nate?" Chuck barked. "Don't lie to me, I know he's here."

"No he isn't." Olivia shook her head. "We split a cab, he walked me to the door and he left. He's probably at home right now."

Chuck looked her up and down. It had been one year, six months, and 8 days since he'd last seen her. Her legs had always been long but the short robe made them look impossibly longer. The robe clung to her still damp body and Chuck felt a stir in the pit of his stomach. She had filled out more in some places and become more lean in others. And finally, his gaze rested upo her face. The surprise that was etched there was unmistakable and she was biting one of her luscious lips in anticipation. Chuck groaned. He'd been doing his stupid homework when he got a text telling him to check out the latest from Gossip Girl. He wasn't sure how exactly he'd gotten to her apartment but all he knew was that he needed answers.

"Did you fuck him?"

"What?" Olivia's mouth fell open at Chuck's bold question.

"Did you fuck Nate?" Chuck asked again, his voice rising.

"No." Olivia felt tears coming to her eyes. "How could you even ask me that?"

"How can I not." Chuck countered. He stalked further into the apartment, it was as familiar to him as his personal suite at The Palace. He went straight for the bar in the sitting room, taking out a glass and helping himself to her father's scotch.

"You're being absurd. You can't just barge in here and ask me if I'm fucking your best friend. I don't care how angry you are with me. I think you know me well enough to know that I would never do that."

"Nate would." Chuck swallowed down the glass and poured himself another.

"What happened between him and Serena was a mistake and we both know that's a completely different situation. Nate and I would never do that to you Charles." Olivia's voice shook. "You mean too much to the both of us.

"What are you doing here?" Chuck asked after a long moment passed. "Why now?"

"Serena called me." Olivia told him softly. She brushed some of the tears off of her cheeks and sat down across from where Chuck stood.

"I called you." Chuck met her dark brown eyes, willing himself to ignore her tears. "You didn't even pick up."

"I couldn't." Olivia looked away.

"Why?" Chuck growled in frustration when Olivia only responded by shaking her head. "No, you owe me a fucking explanation Olivia. Look me in my eyes and tell me why it was so fucking easy for you to pack up your things and leave New York, to leave me."

"It wasn't easy." Olivia released a sudden sob, her head bowed in shame. "I didn't have a choice."

"Yes you did." Chuck countered her. "Your father said the choice was yours."

"You spoke to my father?" Olivia asked in confusion. "When?"

"Right after you left. I tried to figure out what was going on and since you weren't answering my calls, I went straight to him at his office. He told me you asked him to go to New Hampshire so that you could get away from everything." Olivia stared up at Chuck as he spoke and her heart ached with the knowledge that he's spent the last year and a half believing that she'd chosen to leave him behind.

"He's lying." Olivia said forcefully, despite her tears. "That's not what happened."

"Then explain it to me." Chuck insisted. "Tell me what happened."

"I can't." Olivia sobbed. "I can't."

"Fuck you, Olivia." Chuck slammed the glass back down on to the counter, causing Olivia to jump. "Fuck you."

Olivia watched as he stalked out of her apartment just as quickly as he had come into it.

-

Spotted: **C** leaving **O**'s apartment looking pissed and sloppy drunk. Two friends in one night?: **O** sure has been busy since coming back.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Thanks for reading. Please review! ZazuArgentina can't wait to read your story! 

Blair was furious. "Gossip Girl is running my life." She muttered to herself as she got dressed for school. She stared at her reflection, dissatisfied with the way her hair was laying limply against her shoulders.

"Okay, I'll admit, this isn't quite how we wanted to go but I honestly don't think that anything happened between Nate and Olivia last night." Serena rummaged through Blair's extensive jewelry collection.

"Well of course she didn't." Blair rolled her eyes. "She's not a slut."

Serena looked at Blair in shock. "Blair!"

"What?" Blair looked at her a moment before realizing what she had just said. "Oh, sorry. I don't think you're a slut." She corrected herself. "I'm just saying, Olivia isn't the type…"

Serena glared at Blair but had to agree with her. "No, she's not."

"Oh come on S, I didn't say that to hurt your feelings. I forgave you." Blair told her. "I just don't know how much more I can take. It's one thing that Gossip Girl had to talk about Nate breaking up with me, then she wrote about Nate and that blonde girl, the night of my party, and now this. It's like she has it out for me or something."

"Blair, you love it when Gossip Girl is talking about the new Prada pumps you're wearing or how perfect you and Nate are together. This comes with the territory." Serena said diplomatically, although it did seem like Gossip Girl really enjoyed writing about Blair's downfalls lately. 

"Whatever, this is just one more thing for everyone to talk about." Blair stopped messing with her hair and slid on a jeweled head band. 

"Miss Blair, Mr. Bass is waiting downstairs." One of the Waldorf's maids informed her from the doorway.

"Chuck?" Blair arched an eyebrow. "Well, I can't imagine what he would like to discuss."

Serena and Blair descended down the main staircase and found Chuck waiting for them in the sitting room. His eyes were bloodshot and his tie was sloppily looped around his neck, and his shirt untucked. He was looking less than his best.

"God Chuck, pull yourself together." Serena made a face at his appearance. "I can practically smell the scotch from here.

"I'm not drunk Serena." Chuck folded his arms across his chest. "Were either of you planning on telling me that Olivia was coming back?"

"We didn't know, it was a complete surprise." Blair lied sweetly. She went to the table where crissoints and fruit were layed out. She poured Chuck a cup of coffee and handed it to him. "You look like you could use this."

"Stop lying." Chuck was angry but he accepted the cup from her. He might not have been drunk but he definitely had a hangover. "She already told me that Serena called her and asked her to come."

"You talked to her?" Serena's face lit up in shock. Her plan wasn't going exactly as planned. She thought she would have at least a couple of days to prep Chuck before he and Olivia saw each other again.

"I went to her apartment last night." Chuck told them. "Looking for Nathaniel."

"Oh come on Chuck, did you honestly believe that trash on Gossip Girl?" Blair popped a handful of grapes into her mouth.

"She's been right about a lot of things." Chuck turned his gaze to Serena. "And Nathaniel has been known to make some questionable decisions in the past. I'm surprised you're not the least bit suspicious, Blair."

Serena started to say something but Blair stopped her. "We both know Olivia and Nate would never do that; they're practically related. And Nate and I aren't together anymore so he's free to do whatever he'd like."

"Oh really?" Chuck sipped the coffee and eyed Blair. "So you're not even the least bit curious as to who the mysterious blonde from the other night was?"

"Do you know?" Serena asked him; it wouldn't have surprised her if it had been a friend of his.

"That depends." Chuck shrugged. "I have some questions that need answering as well."


	7. Chapter 7

-two summers ago-

Olivia stumbled through a crowded apartment party trying to find her friends. She'd come with Chuck and Serena but now she couldn't find either of them. And to make matters worse, she was more drunk and high then she'd ever been before. She had kept sending Chuck text messages asking him where he was but he hadn't replied to any of them.

"Livy!" Serena, was sitting on a strange boy's lap, smoking a joint. "Come here." Olivia entered into what looked like a study. Serena was the only girl in the room and the only guy that Olivia recognized was Carter Baizen. 

"Olivia!" He said with a grin on his face. "Come sit down." He made room for her on the couch where he was sitting.

"Have you seen Charles?" She asked Carter and Serena. "I can't find him and I feel kind of funny." Serena shook her head no and went back to talking to the boy that Olivia didn't recognize.

"He's somewhere around here." Carter put his arm around her and Olivia wanted to push him away but couldn't find the energy. "What's wrong, do you feel like you're going to be sick?"

"No." Olivia shook her head and was amazed at the way the room suddenly seemed to spin. "My head just feels really fuzzy. That last drink you gave me was really strong." Carter's hand was running up and down her arm now, stopping to toy with the thin straps of her dress. Olivia hadn't expected to end up at a party when she'd gone out with Chuck and Serena earlier in the day and so she was only wearing a small sundress.

"Aww babe, you're just high." Carter pulled her closer and whispered into her ear. "Don't worry, I'll take good care of you."

"I should find Chuck." Olivia tried to stand but Carter held her in place, she was vaguely aware of his hand stroking her knee and inching higher. Across from her Serena and the strange boy were busy making out and the boy's hands had started to creep under Serena's dress but the other girl didn't seem to mind. "I really feel funny."

"Okay," Carter brushed her hair off of her shoulders. "You can lay down in my room and I'll try to find Chuck for you."

"Thanks." Olivia took his hand as he helped her up and started to follow Carter out of the room. Serena never noticed that she left.

-end flashback-

Olivia couldn't stand the emptiness of her apartment. She took her purse and her phone and decided she was better off wandering around Manhattan than sitting alone in her room bored out of her mind while her friends were in school. She decided that she might as well look for a birthday present for Blair while she had the time. She was just about to enter Barney's when her phone vibrated, signaling that she had a text message.

Chuck: Where r u? 

Olivia stared at the text in confusion. After the way Chuck had stormed out of her apartment, Olivia wasn't expecting to hear from him any time soon and honestly, she knew she shouldn't be seeing him anyway.

Olivia: Barney's on Madison Ave, y?

Olivia wasn't sure why she was even texting him back. She should have been afraid that her father or his would check the phone records or that her father was having her trailed- she wouldn't have put it past Juan Soto.

Chuck: Be out front in 15

Olivia rolled her eyes and walked into the department store, she was curious as to what Chuck had to say but she'd be damned if she was going to let him boss her around. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chuck wasn't surprised when he had to get out of his limo and search Barney's for Olivia. She'd never been one to take orders from anyone. He found her leaning against a jewelry case, looking at earings. 

"Those aren't really your style." Olivia looked over her shoulder at him and smiled slightly. She was dressed in a pair of skinny jeans with a bright green button down shirt and a boy's blue blazer on top. Olivia's style had always been more eclectic than Blair's or even Serena's.

"Well, that's good because I'm trying to find something for Blair." Olivia told him. "So, did you come here to yell at me some more?"

"No." Chuck leaned on the counter with her. It was strange being this close to her again after so long. He was surprised to find that she still smelled the same, like the first hint of rain in the air and gardenias. "I'm sorry about that. I was out of line."

"So what's new?" Olivia tried to shrug it off. She pointed to a pair of bejeweled hoop earrings. "Can you imagine Blair's face if I gave her those?"

"She'd pretend she loved them because they came from you and then she'd put them in the back of her jewelry box and never speak of it again." Chuck laughed. 

"Shouldn't you be in school?" Olivia asked after a long pause. "It's almost 12."

"I didn't feel like it today." Chuck said honestly. 

He'd ridden to school with Blair and Serena and he'd actually made it to his locker and had every intention of going to his classes when he ran into Nate.

-

"We need to talk." Nate told him.

"Oh yeah?" Chuck's face remained expressionless. "About what?"

"You know what." Nate grabbed Chuck's arm and dragged him into the courtyard which was quickly emptying out as students rushed off towards class. "Nothing happened last night."

Chuck stared at Nate trying to gage whether or not he was telling the truth. He'd felt so conflicted after leaving Olivia's apartment. She'd been so upset but still she had refused to tell him why she had left so abruptly and he couldn't tell if she was lying to him about her father. Chuck hated being lied to more than anything and considered himself an expert at detecting liars but suddenly his was doubting himself. "And give me one reason why I should believe you?"

"Because you're my best friend." Nate said in exasperation. "You are like my brother, man, I would never do something like that."

"Why should I trust you? You slept with Serena didn't you?" Chuck said calmly. "These are just the facts Nathaniel."

"You're right, I slept with Serena and I regret that. All that did was make things with Blair more complicated." Nate threw his hands up in frustration. "And I've been paying for that mistake ever since she found out. But I would never touch Olivia, you know that Chuck. Besides being your girlfriend, she's practically my sister. She was worried about things with my Dad, that's it. We talked, she got a little bit tipsy, and I made sure she got into her house alright. That's it."

"Ex-girlfriend. Fine." Chuck nodded his head, accepting the facts. "Why didn't you call me and tell me that she was in town? Did nobody have the guts to just say it to me? I had to find out from fucking Gossip Girl."

Nate sighed and looked away. "I wanted to talk to her first, see what was going on. I knew you were going to be mad and I wanted to have some answers for you."

"Well, do you?" Chuck pressed. "Did she tell you why she left."

"No…" Nate said sadly. "She wouldn't say."

-

"I'm sure you'll make up a good excuse." Olivia stood up straight, realizing she wasn't going to find Blair's gift there.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" Chuck asked her. 

"I don't think that's a good idea." Olivia told him. "Our fathers would freak out if they knew we were together."

"What does my father have to do with anything?" Chuck asked suspiciously. 

Olivia realized her mistake immediately and tried to think of a clever way to get around it. "I mean… my Dad would freak out if he knew I wasn't at the dance studio like I told him, I would be and your Dad would be mad that you were skipping school."

"No." Chuck reached out and turned her chin towards him and made her look into his eyes; his hands were surprisingly gentle, unlike the night before. "You're still lying to me Olivia and I want to know why."

The silence was thick between them and Olivia knew she couldn't keep running from him. Sooner or later, she'd have to tell someone the truth and Chuck was the only person who it would really matter to. "Okay." She agreed. "But we have to go somewhere else, some place private and random, and we can't take your car."

Chuck's face showed his confusion but he agreed. "I know a place."


	9. Chapter 9

"Lay down, okay? I'll be right back with Chuck." Carter led Olivia to his bed. It was plush and the sheets were soft. She sunk into them and felt like never getting up. The only nuisance was that the room continued to spin.

"Tell him that I want to go home." Olivia groaned.

"Sure. I'll be right back." Carter cut the lights and Olivia felt her eyes drooping shut. She lost track of the time- in a state between sleep and awake. When she felt the bed move and the covers being pulled off of her, she tried to open her eyes but there was only darkness.

"Charles?" She asked meekly as she tried to reach for him.

"Shh." A hand brushed her hair back off of her face. It wasn't Chuck's hand, it was too smooth. Chuck's hands were strong and just a little bit rough from playing basketball and sailing all summer.

"Stop." Olivia groaned and tried to pull away from the hands but soon she felt the added weight of someone on top of her, nudging her legs apart.

"Shh." The voice told her again. "I promise, you'll like it."

End flashback-

Olivia was surprised when Chuck opted to leave Manhattan and head to Brooklyn. He took her to a sculpture garden. Their cab ride had been mostly a silent one and now seated on a bench overlooking a fountain, Olivia felt the silence weighing on her. She knew she was supposed to talk now.

Chuck for his part, sat patiently. He could tell that she was nervous and he wondered why. Was he making her nervous? Was she afraid of how he would react? Was she trying to come up with a good lie that would explain why she had walked out of his life?

"I don't know where to start." Olivia said sheepishly. "I feel like you wouldn't believe me."

"I might." Chuck said diplomatically. "If you tell me the truth."

"I'm not even sure what exactly the truth is." Olivia sighed. "But I'll try to tell you everything. But Chuck, you have to promise me something."

He stared into her brown eyes and knew he would still do anything she asked of him. "What?"

"That you won't do anything once I tell you everything. You have to promise me that I will be the only person you get mad at." Olivia ran a hand through her curls nervously. "I know it sounds weird now, but you have to promise to just listen and not do anything, except be mad at me if you want."

"What do you think I'm going to do?" Chuck asked with a bit of disgust in his voice. "I know I was a little aggressive last night and I'm sorry, I was drunk and not as in control as I should have been. But I would never hurt you."

"I know that." Olivia told him quickly. She reached out and squeezed his hand but realizing what she was doing, she let it go just as quickly. "I'm not worried about what you'll do to me."

"Then who?" Chuck moved closer. "What aren't you telling me? God, Olivia, can you please just tell me what's going on." Chuck felt the frustration building inside of him. He'd controlled it, packed it away for so long, and now it was building it up again and there was nothing Chuck Bass hated more than feeling out of control.

"Do you remember the party that we went to, at Carter's? We went with Serena and you took me home early because I got sick?" Olivia felt the tears coming already.

"Yes." Chuck nodded. It was the last party that they'd gone to together and he'd spent most of the night on Carter's roof smoking joints with some of the older guys that he was trying to fit in with. He hadn't even known Olivia had gotten so sick until Carter came and got him. "It was the week before you left."

"Right. Well, you had disappeared and I was drinking with Serena for a while but then she found some guy that was kind of cute. I was feeling awkward and so I kept taking these drinks that Carter was making for me. And I think I had smoked a couple of joints with him as well." Olivia took a deep breath. Chuck's face was hard and his eyes had narrowed at the mention of Carter. 

"Then what."

"I started feeling funny and Carter said he would let me lay down. He took me to his room and I'm not sure how long I was there." Olivia pulled her sweater tighter around herself and Chuck wanted to put his arms around her but couldn't. "But then, I thought you came into the room because I felt someone touching me."

Chuck tightened his jaw. He had a sick feeling in his stomach, like he knew where this story was going.

"And I kept trying to move but my body felt so heavy."Olivia wiped her eyes, disgusted when she saw the eyeliner on his fingers. "I knew it wasn't you though. The hands felt too weird, not like yours at all."

"Olivia…" Chuck didn't recognize his own voice. 

"He raped me. Carter raped me." She said the last bit quickly, willing it all to come out as quickly as possible. "And when he was done, he dressed me again, told me to keep my mouth shut and went to get you to take me home."

Chuck made it to the trashcan just in time before he threw up.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for the reviews! Please keep them coming :), good or bad I want to know what you think!

Nate was surprised to run into Jenny Humphrey while skipping the last period of the school day. He was trying to ease out the back stairwell, the one that was off limits to students, and out into alleyway. He almost fell on top of her as he ran down the stairs.

"What are you doing here?" Nate asked her once he had regained her balance. Jenny on the steps writing in what looked like a small journal. Her hair was in her face but it looked as though she had been crying. "Are you alright?

"I'm fine." Jenny brushed the tears away quickly and gave him a small smile. "Skipping class?"

"Yeah." Nate reached his hand into his pocket and felt the baggie of weed. "I need to clear my head for a bit."

"Right." Jenny smirked at him. She knew just as well as all the other students that Nate was a stoner. It was a regular occurrence for him to come back from a lunch break feeling no pain. "Couldn't you just do that in the courtyard?"

"Couldn't you?" Nate motioned toward her notebook. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jenny insisted. "I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed."

"Wanna talk about it?" Nate wasn't sure why he was asking her so many questions but he couldn't help himself. She just looked so vulnerable sitting there on the steps by herself. 

"It's just Blair has been giving me a hard time lately and so school has been rough and I have some family stuff going on." Jenny shrugged. "I think I really just needed a time out."

"I know the feeling." Nate nodded. "And I'm sorry about Blair, I know it's my fault she's ragging on you- more than usual." The two shared a small laugh. "I'm going to straighten it all out."

"Oh yeah?" Jenny asked skeptically. "If you love Serena, why do you keep getting back together with Blair?"

"I don't even think I love Serena." Nate sighed loudly. "Hey, do you wanna get out of here? I'm starting to feel claustrophobic."

Jenny thought it over for a minute. It was almost the end of the day and she was already skipping class, what was the harm in hanging out with Nate?

"Yeah okay." She agreed. Nate offered her his hand and helped her up off of the steps. "But only if you share that blunt with me."

Nate's eyes widened in shock. "Okay…didn't know you had it in you, Jenny."

"There's a lot you don't know about me Nate." Jenny told him with a grin.

-

After his stomach had settled back down and Chuck had rinsed his mouth, he walked slowly back to the bench where Olivia had been sitting. She sat there with her head in her hands, her tears had stopped but there was a glassy faraway look in her eyes. Chuck didn't quite know what to say to her. He was conflicted between wanting to wrap her tightly in his arms and promising never to let her go and tracking Carter down and beating him to death.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Chuck asked in a soft whisper. "I would have-"

"You would have killed Carter." Olivia finished the sentence for him. "I know that. I wanted to tell you Chuck, honestly I did."

"Then what stopped you?" He sat down next to her but started straight ahead at the fountain.

"Carter made a tape." Olivia heard Chuck's sudden inhalation. "He told me he would send it to Gossip Girl if I told anyone and make it look like I had wanted it."

"What?" Chuck asked in disbelief. "That doesn't make sense."

"It scared me enough." Olivia sighed. "After a day or so, I thought about telling you or my parents but then my Dad called me into his office. Your Dad was there too. Carter had sent them a copy of the tape and was asking for $100,000 to destroy it. I was so embarrassed. I tried to explain that I hadn't wanted to sleep with Carter, that he'd forced me but they didn't really care about that part."

"They didn't believe you?" Chuck felt his blood boil and he cracked his knuckles.

"They were worried that the tape would get out so they paid Carter." She explained. "But they didn't want to pursue the matter further, they were just finalizing that casino deal with Carter's father in Vegas and they didn't want to mess it up. Your Dad thought it would be a good idea for me to go away for a while and my Dad agreed. He blamed me for being so naïve and you for taking me to the party."

Chuck nodded his head as he processed that information. Everything she said made sense in a sick twisted way. Bart Bass and Juan Soto were business men first, father last. And her father was right, he was to blame for taking Olivia to that party and teasing her about being such a light weight. He'd even rolled a fat joint and made her smoke it.

"I can see your mind at work." Olivia put her hand on his again, stilling them. "It's not your fault and I never blamed you for it. I wanted to go to the party, I didn't have to drink and I didn't have to smoke. You couldn't have known what Carter was going to do."

"I shouldn't have left you in there by yourself. I've never trusted that-" Chuck paused trying to think of a word strong enough to describe the hatred that he had for Carter. "That fucking asshole. The next time I see him, oh God, the next time I see him, he's a fucking dead man."

Olivia responded forcefully. "You promised you wouldn't do anything Charles."

Chuck met her gaze and held it. "You don't know what you're asking of me. All this time, I had no idea why you left. Now you're telling me that fucking Carter Baizen had the fucking audacity to touch you- to violate you like that- and you don't want me to do anything about it. I'm only human Olivia, I don't know that I can keep this promise."

"Well you have to try." Olivia insisted. "If my father knew that I talked to you, that I had even told you about all of this, there would be so much trouble. Both of our father's would be unhappy."

"I don't really give a fuck about that right now." Chuck squeezed her hands. "Olivia, I would give anything to go back in time and-"

"Don't." Olivia interrupted him again. "We can't go back in time. No amount of money can change what happened. We just have to deal with things from here."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Chuck stood up and started to pace. "I could kill Carter and I feel like finding both of our fathers and punching both of them dead in the face."

"But what would that change?" Olivia stood up as well. "It wouldn't change anything. Look, it hurts to know my father would rather send me away then deal with this but Chuck, I have to live with that and so do you."

"No, I refuse to just accept this." Chuck's eyes hardened. "I know I made a promise but I swear to God, Carter Baizen is a dead man." 


	11. Chapter 11

Spotted: N and the mysterious blonde, wearing a Constance uniform…., sneaking out the back entrance and heading towards the park. B are you starting to notice the pattern? Blondes really do have more fun- with your boyfriend anyway.

Blair pulled her sunglasses on and walked out into the courtyard. She didn't need anyone seeing her red eyes and have gossip girl talking about how she was a cry baby. Blair Waldorf never admitted defeat.

"What are we doing today, Blair?" Isobel and Kati instantly appeared at her side. 

Blair rolled her eyes. She'd gotten used to having an entourage while Olivia and Serena were gone but Isobel and Kati could never replace her two best friends. When Blair needed to strategize or had to face reality, she always turned to Serena and Olivia. "I'm not in the mood."

Isobel and Kati looked at each other and shrugged. "Not in the mood for what?"

"For this." Blair exclaimed in exasperation. She waved her hand in their direction. "I'd really rather be alone right now."

"Are you sure?" Isobel prodded. "If you're upset about Gossip Girl, maybe a drink would help. We can go to that new bar that just opened up on 42nd, I hear it's super chic."

"Or we could go to Niemen's and try on dresses for Chuck's party this weekend." Kati offered.

"No!" Blair lifted her sunglasses so that they could see she was being serious. "I'm not in the mood to hang out."

"Okay." Both of the girls turned on their heels and started to walk away, whispering to each other about Blair having PMS.

"Where are your lackeys off to without their evil mistress?" Blair turned around to face Dan. He had an amused look on his face, which she didn't appreciate at all.

"God, what is it with people today." Blair glared at him. "If you want to attempt to insult me can you just hurry up and get it over with."

"Oh come on Blair, I was just kidding." Dan put his arm around her and Blair scoffed and pushed it off. "Don't you think we should try and be friends? It would make Serena happy."

"So would a new Marc Jacobs dress." Blair laughed. "I don't see what you and I could possibly have in common other than Serena. Where is she by the way? I need to talk to her and she's not answering her phone."

Dan shrugged. "I haven't seen her. And for the record, I think we have a lot in common right now." Dan took out his phone and showed her the latest alert from Gossip Girl.

"I've already seen it." Blair said in a disinterest tone. "And I don't see what that has to do with you anyway."

"I think I might know who the mysterious blonde is." Dan told her in a low tone. 

"Who?" Blair grabbed his arm in anticipation. "Who is this girl?"

"I think it's my sister."

-

Jenny hadn't ever smoked pot before but that was a detail that Nate didn't really need to know about. He'd taken her to a rather secluded part of Central Park where he and Chuck went frequently during the school day. He'd taken several deep puffs of the joint before passing it to her. 

"Thanks." Jenny brought it to her lips and breathed in deeply. A loud cough followed.

Nate laughed at Jenny's expression. "I thought you were a pro?"

"It's strong." Jenny tried to cover. "I wasn't ready."

Nate took the joint back from her and took another hit. "You don't have to lie Jenny. It's okay."

"Sorry." Jenny felt her cheeks heating up and she knew she had to be turning an unflattering shade of red. "I didn't want you to think I was lame."

"Why would I think that?" Nate made a face. "There's nothing special about smoking pot."

"Yeah, I guess." Jenny leaned back against the bench. "I'm just tired of being Dan Humphrey's innocent little sister. No one takes me seriously."

"Is that why you've been sucking up to Blair" Nate didn't give her time to respond. "You know, you'll be much better off if you just do whatever you want to do. If you spend enough time doing whatever Blair or anyone else tells you to do, pretty soon you lose sight of what you think and of what you want."

"Speaking from experience?"

Nate frowned and took another hit enjoying the feeling he was getting. He knew it probably wasn't a smart idea to be talking to Jenny about Blair- after all she'd told about the kiss and he was still trying to make up for that- but she was really easy to talk to and such a good listener too. "Yeah I guess so. Blair and I have been together forever and I guess sometimes it's just a little…stifling."

Jenny thought about Nate's confession for a moment. "So how does Serena fit into all of this?"

"She's the opposite of Blair in a lot of ways. I don't know really, she's fun." Nate looked over at Jenny and smiled. "Don't worry, I won't be trying to get with her any time soon so you don't need to alert Dan. When I'm being really honest, I think I was just trying to give Blair a reason to break up with me. It's easier that way."

"Doesn't seem that easy to me." Jenny laughed. "Not if Gossip Girl has anything to say about it."

"Yeah, I know." Nate laughed with her. "She sure doesn't make it easy on a guy. Everything I do, I feel like I'm being watched."

Jenny took out her phone and showed Nate the latest update. "Well then, I think you and I both should start being a little bit more careful. Blair is just starting to forgive me again."


	12. Chapter 12

Big thanks to: Gossip Girl Argentina, Superdani152003, and Livelovelaughshop! I really love hearing what people think and what their ideas are. XoXo!

During the cab ride back into Manhattan, Chuck tried to convince Olivia to come back to The Palace with him but she had continually refused.

"My father will kill me if he found out." She insisted. "Besides, Serena and Blair are supposed to come over after school and I need to get ready."

"I don't want to leave you in your apartment by yourself." Chuck told her. "And frankly, I could care less about your father."

Olivia sighed. "I'm fine Chuck and I've been fine, okay? This isn't like when I would argue with my dad and hide out in your suite for days."

"I know things aren't the same." Chuck stared out the window. Olivia told him that there was no use I talking about what might have been but he couldn't help but think of all the things he would change if he could just go back in time. "But I also know that if our fathers have been making you keep what happened a secret, even from me, then you haven't really dealt with it. How can you be okay after what that bastard did?"

"I'm okay because I have to be." Olivia said simply, hoping it would end the conversation. "When Daddy sent me to boarding school, I knew that I was on my own and that I would have to take care of myself."

"You didn't have to be alone." Chuck brushed her hair back, cupping her cheek. "I would have been there Olivia. We would have figured things out."

"I wanted to tell you." Olivia leaned into his hand. "I really did, but I didn't know how. And Blair and Serena told me that you started seeing other girls and so I figured it was best not to say anything. I wanted at least one of us to be happy."

"Don't say it." Chuck pulled away from her suddenly. "I wasn't happy Olivia. Don't ever think that you leaving made me happy."

-flashback-

"You've had enough Chuck." Nate watched as Chuck stumbled into his suite and headed straight for the bar. 

"I'll say when I've had enough." Chuck tried to stand up straight and sound serious but he broke out into laughter and had to use the bar's counter as added support. "Don't look at me like that."

"You're disgustingly drunk right now." Nate was trying to be patient with Chuck because he knew how upset he was about Olivia leaving. He'd refused to talk about it explicitly but had been drunk or high just about every moment since the day she'd left. But tonight, Nate had to literally drag Chuck away from a club and some questionable girls that were throwing themselves at him, trying to get close to a Bass.

"I might be drunk." Chuck raised his glass towards Nate and spilled some of the scotch on his hand. "But it all makes sense to me now. I can see so clearly."

"Oh yeah?" Nate took the glass from Chuck and led him over to the couch. "What can you see Chuck?"

"Olivia."Chuck grinned at the sound of her name. "Olivia had to go."

"What?" Nate asked uneasily; Chuck's moods were so unpredictable as of late and he wasn't sure what to expect.

"Of course she had to go." Chuck laid down on the couch, his eyes glazing over. "Just like my mother. Everything I love eventually goes away. You know, sometimes, I really hate myself. Why does everything I love get ruined?" And with that Chuck passed out.

Nate brought a trash can over to the couch and set a bottle of water and two aspirin on the coffee table in case Chuck woke up. He took off Chuck's shoes and his jacket and tie and covered him with a blanket before slipping out the door. Nate knew Chuck would be embarrassed in the morning. Even if he didn't remember what he'd said to Nate, Chuck would be embarrassed about having to be treated like a child. 

Chuck did remember everything the next morning and was always grateful to Nate for taking care of him but even more grateful that Nate had never brought it up in conversation later. 


	13. Chapter 13

Blair Waldorf wasn't the completely callus person that many people thought she was. She could also be a wonderful friend. She'd watched her friends go through many up and downs and had always tried to support them in the best ways she knew how. Taking a taxi to Olivia's house, Blair reflected on the past two years of her life- the ups and the downs. Things between her and Nate were never going to be the same and that was just a simple fact. She'd made some mistakes with that relationship and so had he. Of course they had. Look at their role models. 

Eleanor Waldorf insisted that her family give of the perfect impression to the world; she'd instilled that value in Blair at an early age. Never let anyone see you falter. Eleanor believed in this so much that she'd been willing to overlook a huge flaw in her relationship with Harold Waldorf- the fact that he was gay. She'd tried to keep up appearances until it got to the point where Harold had to put his foot down. Blair could give her parents some credit though, they'd managed to make the divorce as simple and easy as possible. But that hadn't stopped the rumors from spreading… Which was something Nate's family knew all about. The Captain and Anne Archibald's marriage had started to look like a business deal than a love affair and everyone saw it. Anne Archibald walked around in a daze, so caught up in what might be said about her and her family, that she didn't even see that everything was falling apart around her. The Captain's drug problem and as much as Blair hated to admit it, Nate's budding one, had gone unnoticed by Anne simply because she didn't want to deal with it.

"Here's fine." Blair told the driver as it rounded the corner from Olivia's apartment. She handed him a twenty and didn't wait for the change. Serena and Dan were just in front of her. 

"Hey B!" Serena grinned when she saw her friend. Serena had changed out of her school uniform and was dressed in a chic black tank dress. Blair rolled her eyes at Dan's ever casual appearance. At least he'd thrown a blazer over his ratty t-shirt. 

"You look lovely." Blair kissed Serena's cheek. "I didn't know Humphrey was going to be joining us."

"Don't worry Blair, I'm not staying. " Dan gave her a charming grin. 

"I asked him to come and meet Olivia." Serena explained as they walked into Olivia's building. "I figured he could have a drink with us before we left for dinner."

"No need to explain." Blair pulled Dan closer. "He doesn't irritate me as much anymore, right Danny?"

"Aw Blair, love you too." Dan put his arm around his shoulders and they both gave Serena huge saccharine sweet smiles.

"Okay, you two are freaking me out." 

-

The longer Chuck sat in his room thinking about his afternoon with Olivia, the more furious he became. He'd already had a glass of scotch to calm his nerves but it hadn't helped. He wanted to call up his father and confront him. He wanted to find Carter and destroy him. But mostly, he hadn't wanted to leave Olivia. She insisted that she get out of the cab a block away from the apartment in case any of the doormen were reporting back to her father. Chuck had gotten out with her and the two had stood awkwardly together. Olivia biting her lip and looking off down the street and Chuck starring at his shoes. Finally, Olivia reminded him again that he'd promised not to do anything before turning on her heels and taking off down the block.

Chuck took out his phone and called Nate. "I need you to meet me at the Palace bar as soon as possible."

"What's going on?" Nate asked. He and Jenny had gone to a diner to get something to eat after spending the end of the afternoon smoking. "You sound funny."

"No, I'm not alright." Chuck told him. "I need to find Carter Baizen and I need to find him right now."

"What?" Nate asked in disbelief. "Why do you need to find him? Is this about the money?"

"No Nathaniel, this is not about the money, it's about Olivia. Look, I don't want to say anything on the phone. Can you please just meet me?" Chuck hated the vulnerability in his voice. "I need your help."

"Yeah," Nate shot Jenny an apologetic look. "I'll meet you in fifteen."

"Thanks." Chuck shut his phone and walked over to his bar, he looked at the Scotch that was sitting on the counter but decided against it. He wanted Nate to take him seriously and so he didn't want to be drunk. 

No, Chuck was thinking clearly and he was thinking revenge. 


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks so much for the reviews! XOXO! ps- I promise a good long chapter very soon

* * *

Chuck met Nate at The Palace bar and was immediately disappointed to see that his friend was high. He wasn't particularly surprised, just disappointed. 

"I took the afternoon off." Nate offered as an explanation. "What's going on with you man, you look like shit."

"When you were hanging out with Carter, where did he say he was going next?" Chuck asked without providing any context for his demand. The two were seated in the back of the bar away from the other patrons. Chuck had with him a small notebook and a pen. 

"I don't know." Nate exhaled a deep breath and tried to think. "He said something about Monaco but I don't remember if he said he'd been to Monaco or he was going. Why? What does this have to do with Olivia?"

"I can't say." Chuck shook his head. He wished he could confide in Nate; he knew his best friend would be almost as enraged as he was. "But I want him dead."

Nate stared at Chuck, observing his friend. Chuck's eyes were colder than he'd ever seen them before and he looked like a man who was on a mission. "You're exaggerating, right Chuck?" Nate asked carefully.

"No," Chuck shook his head again. "Carter Baizen has to die."

"Chuck, you're starting to creep me out now." Nate forced a laugh. "Tell me what's going on."

"I promised I wouldn't." Chuck told him. "But if you knew Nate, you'd feel the same way."

"What did he do?" Nate asked again. He stared Chuck down. "You know that I can keep a secret. I would never do anything to hurt Livy. Tell me what Carter did and we'll fix it."

"This can't be fixed." Chuck caught the attention of a waiter walking by. "I'll take a scotch on the rocks, please. Actually, make it a double." Nate declined a drink, his head was swimming already.

"Did he hurt her?" Nate tried from a different angle.

"Yes and I want to make him pay Nathaniel. He has to pay for what he's taken from her." Chuck leaned forward and lowered his voice. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Nate's eyes widened. "He raped her?" His voice wavered.

Chuck back sadly in his seat. "He has to pay." 

Nate nodded in agreement. "Alright, we need a real plan."

* * *

Two double scotches later, Chuck was ready to collapse and not because he was drunk- it was from emotional exhaustion. He couldn't breathe properly, the guilt and the anger were suffocating him. After Nate left, Chuck found himself in the limo heading towards Olivia's apartment.

He stood outside of her penthouse, contemplating what to do. She'd been explicit that they couldn't be seen together but he knew that now she was back and had explained things to him, he couldn't be apart from her. He rang the doorbell and stood back waiting. It shocked the hell out of him when Dan Humphrey answered the door.

"Chuck Bass." Dan glared. 

"What are you doing here Humphrey?" Chuck brushed past him and entered the apartment.

"Yes, please do come in." Dan shut the door and turned around. 

"Where's Olivia?" Chuck asked. 

Dan could sense the desperation in Chuck's voice and for some reason he took pity on him. "The girls are upstairs in Olivia's room. I was just leaving."

"Thanks." Chuck said sincerely, walking the familiar path towards her room. He could hear the sounds of her laughter mixing with that of Serena and Blair. He had to smile in spite of himself.

- freshman year-

Serena, Blair, and Olivia stumbled out of Chuck's limo. Nate and Chuck stepped out after them. Chuck put his arm around Olivia's waist and guided her towards the entrance of some club Serena was dying to try out, as Nate helped the other two girls. Olivia smiled up at him.

"You know what?" She asked, her words slurring slightly. She stopped walking and the two stood still as their friends walked past. 

"What?" Chuck couldn't resist pulling her closer and pressing a kiss to her soft, awaiting, lips.

Olivia wraped her arms around his neck and squeezed her body even closer against his. His hands rested on her hips. "I love you." She giggled. "More than all the Martinis in the world."

"Oh yeah?" Chuck laughed and kissed her again, this time deepening the kiss. Groaning softly, he pulled back. "Forever?"

Olivia nodded her head solemnly. "I live to love you Charles Bass. I live to love you." They never caught up with their friends, Chuck guided them back to the limo without breaking their contact. They spent the last of the night in her room, showing their love to each other. 

-end flashback-

Olivia looked up as Chuck entered her room. Her eyes widened and she stopped in the middle of telling a story. Blair and Serena, who were also sprawled out on Olivia's oversized bed, both followed her gaze.

"Can we talk?" Chuck asked her softly. 

"Umm." Olivia's heart started to pound in her chest and she nervously rearranged her dress.

"We should get going…" Serena sat up and climbed off of the bed. Blair took her time getting up and gathering her things. 

"Meet us for breakfast in the morning?" Serena asked, kissing Olivia on both of her cheeks.

"Maybe." Olivia hugged her friend. "I'll call you, okay?"

"Alright. See you tomorrow Livy." Serena brushed past Chuck on her way out of the room but his eyes never left Olivia. 

Blair, on the other hand, took her time getting ready. She hugged and kissed Olivia as well. "I'll be up late tonight doing work if you need anything." She looked at Chuck, noticing how distraught he appeared to be and back to Olivia whose tan olive skin had taken on a blushing glow. She arched an eyebrow.

As she walked out the door she whispered to Chuck. "Tell her how you feel and I swear to God if you hurt her, I'll hunt you down."

Chuck's gaze turned to Blair for only a moment. "Fair enough, Blair."


	15. AN

Sorry for disappearing! I've been really sick and have had a lot of family stuff going on. Anyway- I think I'm going to be taking a break from this story for a bit but you can expect to see a new Chuck/OC story within the next couple of days! Thanks so much for all the messages and things- you all are really great and hopefully you'll like my new story. I personally think it's a lot better!


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